Things You Don't Need To Know In Your Twenties


Long were the nights when people had their life all figured out on their early twenties. Getting married, having a stable job and having one or more kids under your own rooftop may have been something expected for a early twenty-something person to achieve, but to the actual calendar, that notion is a bit off radar. Since the industrial revolution things and rules have changed. Society stopped expecting people to have their life figured out by the time they blow the candles of their eighteenth birthday, reinforcing the notion of Emergent Adulthood.

In case this notion has never reached your lovely ears, emergent adulthood is the period between the age of 18 and early 20's - the period of your life where you graduate from school and are expected to emerge into adulthood and deal with life's new demands with your inter and intra personal resources. Researchers believe that this transition may trigger a lot of issues, since the new adult is faced with problems they weren't used to deal with when they were still teenagers. Think of Emergent Adulthood has a lauching ramp to the adult life. You are not a teenager nor an adult - you are in between both. You are getting ready ready for the jump, measuring the height of the ramp alongside the laws of physics involved in the jump. Slowly, you are disattaching yourself from your teen-self and learning how to put on your adult suit.
This simple notion sort of takes away some of the scary features out of adulthood. Opposed to what used to happen back then, you don't need to know how to be an adult from the time you turn eighteen - trust me, I am 23 years old and I still don't know how to adult. As new adults, or teen-adults if you want, we are meant to use our early 20's to discover ourselves and to learn more about our resources and our mind. Even though in some places there is still pressure to make important decisions regarding your future at the age of eighteen, society is starting to lift the weight of our shoulders and reassuring everyone that is normal to not have everything figured out at such a young age. Go out and discover, they say. You don't need to know everything about life nor you need to know what is your favourite flavor of ice-cream. Everyone is discovering themselves, and even though some people seem to have rushed that process and are seen as the lucky ones who don't have to question themselves in every single decision they have to make, most of us... Well, we have no clue what we are doing. If you are in your early twenties and you are reading this and thinking 'Yep, no idea what I am supposed to do', then welcome to the club! Most of us are clueless when it comes to being a grown-up and we are regretting the times when we were kids and wished we were adults (go back, self, be a kid).

Since being an adult is difficult and there is no such thing as a book to teach us everything we need to know, I decided to write down some thing you do NOT need to know in your early tweenties. Things that society makes you think you should feel guilty about if you don't know them. I am here to tell you: don't listen to what society has to tell you. Ignore them and be you. You will figure out things soon, I promise you.

1. You don't have to have your career figure out. Sometimes not knowing what you want to do is the first step towards discovering what makes you happy.
2. You can, you should and you must have dreams. Having dreams is not a childish thing to do. Having dreams is the fuel that makes us take steps ahead.
3. You don't need to be in love with someone. But you do need to be in love with yourself.
4. It is okay to be single. You will find someone. Focus on other things that give you the same butterflies in your stomach.
5. You don't need to be completely and utterly comfortable with who you are or with the life you are living now.
6. The place you are living in right now does not need to be your home. You will find the place you belong in.
7. You don't need to have a favourite book or movie or song - look at me having an identity crisis every time someone asks me about it.
8. You don't have to do what other people are doing. The things you are doing right now are important to create the path you dream about.
9. You don't have to do what people YOUR age are doing. "Being the same age does not mean having the same preferences", things a billboard should say.
10. You don't have to have a stable and closed group of friends. The same way, you don't need to still be friends with people you were friends with in high-school. People change as they grow up and sometimes you realize that the only thing that was connecting you to someone was the fact that you saw that person every day. It's important to become friends with people with whom you feel your most comfortable self.
11. You should be paying attention to your health, both physical and mental. Highlight, highlight, highlight. Mental health is something that society doesn't pay much attention to in your 20's and it's something frequent in this period of your life. Pay attention to it and don't be afraid to ask for help. Every hero needs help with some fights.
12. It's okay not to capture everything you see. We live in a generation where it feels essential to capture every single moment we are in and share it with the World. It's okay to do it, as much as it is okay not to capture those. Through your life, you will go through a lot of happy moments that you won't have a change to capture with your camera, and that is fine. It means you will be too involved in the happiness of the situation to even think about physical memories. I wish you a lot of happy moments like those.
13. It is okay not to take selfies / not liking to take pictures of yourself. You are discovering yourself, finding who you are and all the features that are inside of you. It's okay not to love yourself. Loving yourself it's a process and everyone should respect it. As long as you are trying your best to love all your features - even the ones no one claps for -, that is the only think we can ask.
14. You don't need to know who do you want to be in the future. Look at me, already graduated from University, working, and still having no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

Growing up is not easy. In fact, it is one of the most challenging and difficult phases of your life. Take some time to discover yourself and to figure out what makes you happy. Your dreams are valid and this is the period of your life when you decide if you want to chase them or not. Put your worries aside and embrace your confusion. We are all clueless here. You want to know a secret, though? The best people are confused at some point of their lives. It just means that they want to do something meaningful with their lives. That, my friend, is the goal.

Don't forget... You have all your life to figure out how to be an adult.


What is one thing you are still learning about adulthood?
If you could give an advice to the twenties' newbies, what would it be?


Love, love, love. x

11 comments

  1. #6 hits the spot lol.. I need it as a constant reminder.

    Ayre

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  2. This is so so perfect. Like, literally what I've been needing to read for ages! Being in your early twenties is damn hard but this is the time to really live life and find out who we really are.

    Love your writing so much sweet!

    Hazel xx

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  3. This is just a place where you are growing up and finding out where you truly want to be. :) I hope you find that place soon! :)
    Love xx

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  4. I agree with you, completely. People put too much pressure on ourselves, but they don't remember that being a new adult is a hard task in this decade. Pressures and expectations are hard and we ought to discover ourselves! :)
    Thank youuu. Coming from one of my favourite bloggers, that means a lot to me! :)
    Love xx

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  5. Hiya babe, love it so inspiring and #6 YESSSS!

    thanks for sharing this with us.

    Massive INTERNATIONAL giveaway on my blog!

    www.its-dominica.blogspot.co.uk

    Have a lovely week!

    Stay in touch.

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    Dominica S.

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  6. Thank youuuuuuuu for reading it! :)
    Love xx

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  7. Hi Kori! This post is written right out of my heart, thanks so much! Over in Switzerland, we have our kids decide about their educational path at the age of 14. That's the age when you decide whether you want to go to university or do something practical. Unfortunately, the system here is still rather closed, meaning you either go one way or the other. However, it's starting (though slowly) to open up as well, making it possible to get a university degree after having learned a practical job. I'm really glad because I seriously think it's cruel to have teenagers decide about the rest of their lives at such a young age...

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  8. Thank youuu for sharing this with me, it means a lot.
    It sucks that we are expected to make such important decisions when we are still this young. I understand what you say, for here there are some similar steps. I just hope that everyone knows that they can do whatever they want to if only they work hard. :)
    Thank you again for sending me this message. :)
    Love xx

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  9. i agree with a lot of these! i'm 25 and still don't have my life figured out and i'm okay with that :)


    avecdanielle.blogspot.com

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  10. I truly believe your 20's are to discover all these things. :) It's impossible we find all about life in just a short period of time. :)
    Thank you for your comment. :)
    Love xx

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  11. I think I must print this out and hang it on the wall somewhere where I always see it... This is a brilliant post! Thanks for writing this. I am always such a perfectionist, that I push myself to things or limits that shouldn't be even thought of. Yet I am disappointed and stressed out, when it doesn't go "my" way. Or sometimes - much worse - the way other people would think my way should be going.
    Yeah.. I need this list.

    Milly
    www.sevenseasaway.com

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